I recently was invited to talk to a tabletop role playing game class at the University of Wisconsin Green Bay. Yes, me! How did this sufferer of crippling social anxiety and fear haver of public speaking handle it? Read on!
How it Happened
While running my booth at the Midwest Gaming Classic earlier this year I was approached by Professor Chris Williams. Chris (It’s weird addressing a professor by their first name…) bought a couple of my games and asked if I’d be interested in talking to his class. Years ago it would have been a hard pass. But in the last several years I’ve come around to saying yes to things in order to experience more things that I’m afraid of.
I’ve always had a good amount of social anxiety. And speaking in front of groups has always been terrible. But a few things have made a difference over there years, which leads me to:
Conquering My Fears
So how have I chilled out more at the terrifying thought of public speaking?
1. Actual Plays: I’ve been in a few actual plays. While overall they went okay, I really didn’t like doing them. I’m not an actor and I feel like people want good actors in those things. Anyway, being on camera for them and having to “perform” even if poorly, helped a lot.
2. Interviews: I’ve done a few interviews for various ttrpg outlets and I’ve learned that I can talk about stuff. Too much, actually. I don’t really need to prepare all that much. If I’m being asked a question, I can respond without getting flustered or freezing.
3. Sales Meetings: During my day job I’ve been meeting with clients (remotely) to talk about services in a sort of semi sales position to help convince them to go with us. That’s really helped me realize that I’m not terrible at it.
I think it’s also important that at this point in my life (oh crom I’m in my 40s) that I’ve stopped caring as much as I used to about what other people think. Along with anxiety came a lot of self consciousness and honestly, self esteem issues. It took a lot of personal growth to be a lot more okay with myself along with positive reinforcement from trying to go outside my comfort zone and it not ending in total disaster.
Still, I don’t really like the idea of potentially having to lead a Ted Talk or something on that scale.
Talking to the Class
I really enjoyed talking to the class. It was more of a Q&A session and less than a “speech” so that helped enormously. I could put together a slide deck and talk for an hour on tabletop gaming, but I appreciate more of a back and forth to tailor what I’m relating to what they want to hear.
I feel like it went really well, but then again the self doubt in my mind is always, “no it was bad, they were just being kind.” lolz man brains can be bad. I’m just going to walk away and say, yes it went well and not feed into the bad brain. Honestly, I’m now kind of glad I’m this way. I think it means I’m not a narcesist if I question my own performance.
They had a lot of great questions with a couple I really hadn’t thought about before. Personally, when I first started doing the whole making tabletop role playing game thing I had ZERO clue how to start or to connect with other people who were into the whole scene. I think someone telling me how to do that would have been really helpful.
Would I Do It Again?
Heck yeah, it was great. I really enjoyed the experience and I feel like I’ve learned so much in the last few years that what I can give people a shortcut when they get into the field to at least not make the same mistakes I have. Despite my anxieties, imparting what I know to help other people has been a thing I’ve enjoyed for awhile now, but it’s been more on a one on one basis rather than a room of people.
So if you’re a professor or someone like a convention organizer that would like an (ENNIE nominated) table top role playing game creator as a guest who has experience in writing and layout to the business side, then let me know!